Moff Council Comments on Collapse of Numerous Galactic Businesses

The Pentastar Alignment held a rare press conference today to announce its view on the collapse of numerous galactic businesses and political entities, sources inside their asteroid stations confirm. The constant news of dissolution and massive corporate restructurings had filtered through the usually hermetic seal of the Moff Council’s regime and began to concern broader citizens.

“Fear not, loyal citizens of the Pentastar Alignment – We have long cackled in the shadows about the profound and laughably tragic errors in economic theory that fester like a bad rash outside the Grander Moff’s divinely inspired guidance…” Moff Dane Star began from his podium.

“Rest assured, despite the economic turmoil in the galaxy, our trade agreements and supplies remain in place. The Moff Council has recently met and decreed that rations shall be generously raised from a measly 90% to a nearly extravagant 95% of subsistence calories.”

Moff Dane Star, speaking at the podium.

Experts note that it is difficult to understand events behind the “Quantum Airlock” that The Pentastar Alignment has erected between its low-ranking citizens and the wider galaxy. Professor Natazi Ozzel, an expert in Stellar Internal Politics, said that although short, the press conference pointed to a worry amongst its leadership that the population may become “excited” by the constant news of company collapse and large-scale restructurings.

“A regime such as The Pentastar Alignment survives by maintaining a strong narrative of its security and superiority. It suppresses outside news as best to ensure the population believes the governance is better than it is. Somehow, negative news has gotten inside their bubble…” Ozzel explained.

Meanwhile, Sio Mai, an expert in fringe religious movements and cults, who often comments on TPA affairs, offered a blunter analysis: “…Ozzel, you say the population may be ‘excited’ – I assume meaning ‘wildly unsettled and possibly rebellious’ – by the constant ticker-tape parade of company collapses and large-scale restructurings. “Excited,” in this context, seems to be the euphemism you’d use when referring to a supernova as a slight glow…”

When approached for comment via holonet, the Grander Moff, who often allows himself to speak freely, immune from the consequences of his own secret police, simply said: “…I don’t know who you are! I don’t know who any of these people are! What is TVI forensics and why did they own three planets? Why don’t I own a planet? Now I’m depressed. Go away.”

Grander Moff Anubis Hothyck, Official Portrait