OFFICIAL COMMUNIQUÉ: THE EMERGENCE OF THE COUNCIL

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE FROM: The Desks of Ling & Mador

SUBJECT: Official Establishment of the Simp Council Faction

It has come to our attention that a certain individual has decided to pull back the veil on our operation. While some call it “childish behavior” or “losing a sense of reality,” we prefer to call it the Supreme Art of Not Knowing When to Stop.

Yes, the Simp Council is real. We are officially declaring ourselves as a lore owned faction within this galaxy. We are not going anywhere. In fact, now that the “Simp Galaxy” dossier has been published, we have identified the primary candidates for our first wave of expansion.

The Expansion Phase

We are looking for those who are ready to prioritize the fun over their own reputations. After reviewing the recent data, we are officially calling upon the following candidates to join us at the High Table:

• Krodo Rask: Your half-spineless dedication has been noted. We see you trying to give whatever you have to get in. Stop trying so hard. The door is already ajar.
• RAWTH: We know you still have a sense of decency holding you back. It is a heavy burden, RAWTH. Drop it. Join us and let the decency go.
• Turben Dawk: You keep showing up whenever there is simp behavior afoot. We appreciate the persistence. It is time to stop sympathizing and start participating.
• Binak Algo: As a member of the newly emerged species of Spineless Simps, you bring a level of moral flexibility that the Council needs for its next phase of harmless lies.

Operational Standards and Logistics

To ensure the absolute integrity of our new faction, we are streamlining our economy and maximizing our downtime. We will exclusively use Dac Kain to middle every single trade for the Simp Council. Dac has our full confidence. To further optimize our schedule, Dac will even make our purchases through vendors on our behalf. This strategic delegation ensures that the Council members no longer have to worry about the trivialities of shopping. By letting Dac handle the credits, we ensure we have significantly more time to simp.

Future Outlook

We are focusing on getting these four new members up to speed with our specific brand of behavior first. Once the core council is stabilized, wider applications will be released to the rest of the 25 identified individuals and any others who wish to have the filth splash onto them.

Stay disrespectful. Stay unfixed.

Signed,

Ling & Mador Co-Chairs of the Simp Council

The Simp Council is officially a lore owned faction, but it is not cheap to maintain this level of dedication to the cause. Support the movement and keep simping alive in the galaxy by sending your donations to us directly or through our middleman, Dac Kain.