THE OBEDIENT STAR: ISSUE THREE
From the Office of Official Information of The Pentastar Alignment
DESPATCHES FROM THE FRONT
Rations have been increased by ten percent for one month for all citizens, in celebration of our brave soldiers.
The galaxy remains blighted; many sentients continue to fall prey to delusions born of corrupt misinformation, refusing to accept the need for law and order and instead embracing the chaos of rebellion. The Pentastar Alignment continues its vital work in re-establishing stability in star systems overrun by rebels and pirates.
Forces of the Alignment recently assisted the glorious forces of the Galactic Empire and Black Sun to eliminate a significant number of frigates and rebel support craft in Serocco, thereby relieving the distressed population and bringing the Emperor’s hand to the system. TIE/in Interceptors of the Imperial Union heroically engaged A-Wings in perhaps the largest battle to date, whilst commendably screened by Alignment corvettes. Once again, our pilots can be proud of their tenacity, drive, and indomitable spirit in crushing those who stand in the way of progress.
The aftermath of the battle saw extensive boarding operations. Moff Star, his loyal assistant Clerk Sophie Arlay, Moff Eiretir and Commander Hatar Calud successfully tracked the former head of the Jedi Council Thragg Craghorn and the so-called “Jungle Pope” Wrrath Khuykiaal to abandoned vessels revealed through Doctor Bram Pyre’s unfortunate madness. These two named individuals are rebels; their high positions in factions known to have colluded in schemes against the Alignment, knowingly or unknowingly. Although both are believed to have been evacuated to medical facilities and remain at large, their personal guard was not so fortunate.
“I keep asking for Ewok skins, but they keep bringing me Wookie pelts! Idiots!” the Grander Moff was reported to have remarked.
Although commander Calud was tragically hospitalised due to wounds sustained during the boarding operations, Moff Eiretir is said to have heroically escaped a rebel murder-platoon whilst maintaining impeccable decorum, even hailing their transport ship: “Well fought, sirs. You shall always remember this as the day you almost captured Moff Eiretir!”
NOTICE: By personal order of the Grander Moff, independent Alignment operations shall remain ongoing for the foreseeable future. Neutral factions and independent spacers are hereby advised: the Alignment bears you no ill will. Peaceful bounty hunters, merchants and freighters will pass unmolested so long as they refrain from harbouring traitors, aiding and abetting criminals, or transporting contraband of disloyal origin. Alignment forces have standing orders from the Grander Moff to render aid.
PROPERTY IMPOUNDED, PROCESS FOR RECLAIM ISSUED
In spite of attempts by rebel forces to obstruct the lawful rescue of vessels, no doubt hastily abandoned when they themselves or assorted pirate factions sowed chaos across Derra, the forces of the Alignment conducted a special operation to assume control of several pieces of property left derelict in the system, after finding their pilots apparently absent. This necessary intervention prevents their later destruction at the hands of villains, and mitigates the ongoing inaction of their owners and others.
Under the watchful eye of Moff Star and King Baba, our well-disciplined pilots inspected the abandoned vessels, assumed temporary custodianship, and moved them to a secure location. These vessels are not to be sold or destroyed, and may be reclaimed by their rightful owners until Day 1, Year 358, in accordance with Grand Proclamation 730 of the Grander Moff. The Alignment reserves the right to impound any abandoned vessels we locate in combat areas and move them to a safer location. Concerned sentients are advised to respond to hails, darkness messages, and the presence of Pentastar boarding parties.
The ships impounded are:
- Pelta-class Frigate – Hidden Fury, owner believed to be Nyles Kasatik
- Pinook-class Starfighter – Hafaugey’s Wings, owner believed to be Kehran Deltoch
- X-Ceptor-class Fighter – Hrazef, owner believed to be Maro Riggs
The owners of these vessels, provided they remain neutral or friendly, may reclaim their property by sending a personal message to the Grander Moff containing:
- A declaration acknowledging the Grander Moff’s benevolence, in triplicate.
- A short statement outlining why rebels and pirates are bad.
- An undertaking to collect the ship (undocked) from the Malrin Centre for People Who Can’t Park, the Alignment’s new designated facility for processing improperly parked spacecraft.
Please note: visitors to the Malrin Centre are reminded that parking violations must be resolved before a vessel may be claimed. Failure to present Form 88-Z (“Request for Retrieval of Wrongly Abandoned Property”) will result in reassessment, further impoundment, or mild re-education depending on staffing levels. No fee is charged for this service.
Assessor Gwenedith Ordos has been placed in charge of the facility. The Moff Council trusts she will operate the facility with the particular standards her work has become renowned for across the galaxy.
GRANDER MOFF DELIVERS SPEECH ON STRIFE IN THE REBELLION
Recent, widely publicised reports in the Galactic News Service have brought to light deepening conflict within the Rebel Alliance and its associates, first revealed by our noble friends in Black Sun, and later confirmed by the Rebel Alliance itself in its bizarre marketing materials.
“The Rebels yet again demonstrate that their experiment in democracy has failed. Whilst I benevolently converted our own voting chamber into a ballroom, thus unburdening our loyal citizens of the Alignment from the dreary difficulties of decision-making and bringing dance to all, it appears that with the treachery of rebellion also comes delusion.
“In truth there is little revelation in these recent reports, save that they were published so prominently rather than whispered in corridors. It has long been known that the Rebel Alliance ceased functioning as a democracy some time ago, clinging to the trappings of mutual consent whilst power accumulated around Rebel Alliance Intelligence’s Jonas Kanuteau, his cabal of agents puppetting the so-called ‘Restored Empire’, and his co-conspirators in the Blue Star Dominion, led by well-known criminal Tomas O’Cuinn. This is plain from the Empire’s arrest warrants, which value Hatoori Hoorl, the supposed leader, at a mere one-million credit bounty compared with Kanuteau’s five-hundred million, and detail their ongoing collaboration.
“The most stable groups in the galaxy do not quibble in council, and their citizens are happier for it. Such simplicity makes it clear when malign actors ascend to power; the buck always stops with the Supreme Leader, the Emperor, the King.
“That said, not all labouring under the delusion of democracy are equally in error, nor equally misguided in their moral compass. One weakness of a democracy is the sheer number of positions of authority that scoundrels may seek out and abuse, but it does not follow that all who hold office are equally ill-intentioned. Are members of the Rebellion truly so misguided as to believe that Orion Chran wishes his collaborators ill after five full years of leading their misadventures? It makes no sense, and it strains credulity.
“A word of advice to the misguided members of the Rebellion: question more. Repent, throw down your weapons, and you will be granted asylum with full re-education and reasonable rations above your subsistence needs. These traitors defile my beloved homeworld of Sullust, and I would see its caverns gladly restored to Law & Order.”
The Office of Official Information reminds all Alignment citizens to take the proper lesson from this episode: discord is the natural consequence of disunity, consultation, and insufficiently supervised political expression. Let the tragic example of the Rebellion stand as a reminder of the Alignment’s eternal truth: loyalty brings harmony, obedience brings clarity, and unquestioning faith in the Grander Moff remains the surest safeguard against chaos.
A concluding word from the Moff Council: “The galaxy watches the Rebels fracture yet again. Meanwhile, the Alignment dances.”
MELEENIUM TARIFF REINSTATED; ALIGNMENT STRIKES HISTORIC TRADE DEAL WITH MINERS’ UNION
Effective immediately and by personal directive of the Grander Moff, the moratorium on Meleenium tariffs is hereby lifted. The previously suspended 1100% tariff on all Meleenium transactions is reinstated in full, with additional administrative surcharges to be calculated retroactively once counting droids have been recalibrated. Citizens are advised that tariffs may be increased further should economic conditions, or the Grander Moff’s intuition so require.
This bold return to fiscal discipline follows the successful conclusion of what the Moff Council has hailed as an “excellent” and “mutually advantageous” trade negotiation with the Miners’ Union. Under the terms of this landmark accord, the Union has agreed to take decisive steps to reduce the dangerous oversupply of Meleenium by mining significantly less of it.
While markets may once again attempt to portray these measures as “protectionist,” “confusing,” or “economically illiterate,” the Alignment remains steadfast. Meleenium continues to pose a uniquely destabilising influence on galactic order, and its strict regulation is essential for the wellbeing of all loyal citizens. The public is reminded that all Meleenium declarations remain compulsory, and vapourisation ceremonies shall resume presently.
Citizens are reminded that the recent rise in the price of The Obedient Star is entirely unrelated to the reinstated Meleenium tariff or to any so-called “inflation.” Inflation is not a real economic phenomenon but rather a malicious rumour propagated by saboteurs. The Alignment’s economy remains flawlessly calibrated, and any suggestion to the contrary should be reported immediately to your local inquestoriate for correction.
Closing Notes from the Editor:
- Law and order continue to be restored across Derra and Serocco; the Alignment remains your steadfast partner in peace.
- Rebel democracy has been revealed, yet again, as largely hypothetical.
- Impounded vessels may be reclaimed through the proper forms.
- The Grander Moff’s wisdom on economic matters is final, even when it changes without warning.
- Loyalty is its own reward; disloyalty has more involved administrative processes and generally leads to unhappiness.
- Rising prices are not real.
This edition was triple-verified by the secretariat of the Moff Council.
Any misreading is your own fault.
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