THE RUM, THE GHOST, AND THE GAVEL
The Rum, The Ghost, and The Gavel
Journal Entry — Captain Krodo Rask, Hyperspace Drift, Week 3
I awoke in a cold sweat, the stars still smeared across the viewport like spilled spice. The rum had fermented in my blood, and the dream — if it was a dream — had already begun to rot in my memory. But I remember enough. I must write record what it.
Act I: Blood and Ghosts
Brichael Skarn, Lieutenant of the ISB, appeared in my quarters without knocking. Said he had a job. Said the Empire needed me. Said Thragg Craghorn was a threat to galactic order.
I found Craghorn in a swamp on Ord Vaxal, muttering to frogs. Subdued him with a stun baton and a firm insult. Skarn ordered me to extract his blood. I did. Then he said, “Kill him.”
I did.
Craghorn’s body vanished. His voice lingered. A Force ghost, shimmering and smug. He named Rivain Dumat his successor. The Jedi Order was dead, he said. Long live the Knights of Ren.
I drank more rum.
Act II: The Hutt and the Hangman
Skarn sent me after Hondo Walker — the ugliest Hutt in the Outer Rim. I found him in a bathhouse on Nar Shaddaa, surrounded by mirrors and lies.
I killed him. Hung his bloated carcass from a speeder crane above the promenade. The message was clear: the Empire shows no mercy.
Skarn was promoted by Noah Hatfield to Colonel, now commanding the Starkiller Division of Imperial Intelligence. He promoted me to Deputy Junior Officer. I asked what that meant. He said, “It means you’re useful.”
I drank more rum.
Act III: The Jedi and the Ewok
Skarn tasked me with investigating Hatfield’s final mission and a man named Anubis Hothyck. I enlisted Mador Anami — a JO defector turned Assistant to the Deputy Junior Officer. He brought snacks.
We uncovered that Hatfield died in space combat against Simkins — a Jedi infiltrator hiding within the Galactic Empire. We also discovered that Hothyck seeks the companionship of an Ewok named Bramble. I did not ask why.
Skarn promoted me again. Special Agent. Authority to commandeer Star Destroyers and command Stormtrooper units. I asked for a cape. He said no.
I drank more rum.
Act IV: The Court and the Chaos
My next mission: capture Lizard Burnttoes. I did. Read him his rights. He asked for a lawyer.
Enter Tel von Sydow of Tusk Bros Legal Partners. Judge Wyatt Holiday presiding. They contacted Skarn to discuss proceedings. I was assigned Bailiff of the Court. I assigned Mador as Assistant to the Bailiff. Burnttoes was placed in our custody.
I flew to Coruscant to prepare court security. Jorn Stones shot me down over the capital. Status: unknown.
Meanwhile, Mador was attacked by Black Sun operatives. Burnttoes escaped. Skarn now faces charges of conspiracy, abuse of power, and excessive use of acronyms.
I drank more rum.
Act V: The Whistleblower
In a twist worthy of a holodrama, I was revealed as a surprise witness. A whistleblower. I exposed Skarn’s lies, his corruption, his obsession with titles.
The courtroom gasped. Tel von Sydow wept. Wyatt Holiday ordered a recess.
And then — I woke up.
Final Entry
Was it a dream? A vision? A warning? The rum bottle is empty. The stars are still smeared. I remain in hyperspace, drifting between duty and delirium.