Thank You Arvala

Residents of the newly colonized Arvala system expected a peaceful weeklong celebration with their ‘Freedom Festival,’ but what they got was a full-blown circus, courtesy of the Zann Clownsortium. Yes, you heard that right—the Shadow Dominion turned up in force, transforming the event into what can only be described as the Dark Carnival. 

Forget about ‘whack-a-stormtrooper’ and ‘pin the tail on the pit droid’—the real entertainment came from defilers dressed as clowns, killing droids and construction workers with axes like some maniacs. The festival’s idyllic atmosphere quickly morphed into chaos, leaving many to wonder if the local security was on a permanent break as various rebel ships were observed leaving the planet.

In this unexpected twist, the infamous Linkin Bork’s music echoed through the festival grounds, apparently scaring away Kaze Zill and his rancors. Reports suggest that the Blue Star Dominion and Resistance forces made a hasty retreat at the mere sound of the opening riff and Ximaro’s own blood curdling voice. 

But the main act was yet to come. After enjoying a thrilling ride on the largest carousel wheel in the southern Outer Rim, Ximaro Jix, the clown lord himself, took to the stage. Accompanied by Linkin Bork, they performed an impromptu set that left the crowd both amused and frightened. Their hit song? A tongue-in-cheek rendition: We are who we are.

Starting with an opening chorus of several Defilers like the pink plushy hugging Dax Owok , yell “what, what,what”

Before,  Ximaro cuts loose with Linkin Bork singing :

We’re gonna make this rabble recognize we’ve been through a lot of hell you couldn’t make us quit, no matter how much vile garbage you spit. Up from the gutter straight plebeian cuttas. Still wanted and never caught by most you suckas. Lie about how you don’t run on the ground from us.

Clown makeup so ugly even the dead wake up . Sing this song in your taverns they’ll kill you for the Zann shake up. You’ll have to ban this record before it stops its play. That goes to anyone who ever crossed us. You’ll have to keep your eyes open because you never know when to expect us. 

 Rabble vs the Clowns, Clowns not afraid to run with the Havoc burning the galaxy down. 

Clowns still runnin around being the monsters you love to hate, so don’t frown.

With delusional lyrics like this it’s clear that the Shadow Dominion’s idea of a celebration is anything but serious. Amidst the chaos, the galaxy’s most notorious figures managed to deplete local supplies of jupoberry floss and ryll, leaving all addicts with bad teeth out of luck.

For the locals, the festival was a mixed bag of thrills and spills. While some were left in awe of the sheer audacity, others are still piecing together what exactly happened. One thing is certain: it’s one for the history archives , complete with all the unpredictability, danger, and joker antics you’d only expect from the galaxy’s most unsavory characters who are insane.

So, here’s to the Dark Carnival—a twisted, thrilling spectacle that has left Arvala-6 and its system both shaken and stirred. As the festival closes, residents can only brace themselves for whatever comes next. Stay tuned, because in the world of the Shadow Dominion, there are no rules, so nothing ever matters. 

Remember, everyone is scum to someone, Zann just doesn’t mind being scum for everyone who pretends to be different.