Special Report: Jungle Pope Denounces ‘Beating the Bantha’ and ‘Fauna Fight Clubs’
The holo springs to life with a familiar hexagonal lotus icon. An urgent theme plays on woodwinds and strings.’
An EV droid stands before the camera at a press conference. A crowd of sentients stands in front of a podium erected in front of The Legacy Zoo at the Legacy City Plaza on Leafar II. An Ithorian in bright robes steps up to the podium. As the crowd falls quiet, he speaks to the mics in a measured voice.
“The galaxy is no stranger to bizarre trends. We’re accustomed to the excesses of the glitterati on Ord Cantrell, or the saber-rattling of the criminal underworld, but we’re here today to put our appendages down regarding the latest fad. In the past few months, we’ve seen a disturbing rise of casual animal abuse. When rumors of these so-called ‘Fauna Fight Clubs’ reached my ears, I felt compelled to investigate. What you’re about to see may shock and disgust you:”
A security holo, showing a Bith boxing with a D`oemir Bear in the cockpit of a Mammoth Hauler. The Boxer lands a stunning blow, and the Bear falls to the ground. The victorious Bith pulls a medkit out and begins treating the bear’s wounds with bacta.
The Jungle Priest continues: “Let me be clear, while it’s very easy to bring a sturdy creature into the cockpit of your ship, one that can take a beating and can’t dodge your attacks like a Bantha or a Blurrg, and then use some bacta anytime it’s looking the worse for wear, you should absolutely NOT do this. It’s not safe, especially if you’re using a weapon, like a staff or a shotgun loaded with rubber shot – I know people say those are the best weapons to use and they make it easiest to land a high percentage of your atttacks, but don’t do it kids. People say they try it out ‘for the experience’, but just like every other adrenaline junkie behavior, they soon find themselves hooked. And before they know it, they need more and more ‘experience’ to fill that hole in their souls. Next thing you know they’re visiting those “Green Bars” and other dens of debauchery.”
The gathered crowd murmurs in agreement, many holding up protest sign.
“Unsurprisingly,” the priest continues, “this sort of reckless behavior has taken root across the galaxy in young people particularly. To help combat this, the Church of the Mother Jungle has developed a set of lesson plans to help adults address this sensitive topic with the younglings in their care. Take a look at this sample from Beating the Bantha: A Lesson in Personal Responsibility…”
The holo cuts to a group of teenagers sitting on folding chairs arranged in a circle, with a jungle priest seated at one end. The room is decorated with posters featuring inspirational quotes and animal facts. The priest clears his throats awkwardly and begins.
“Alright, everyone, let’s settle down. Tonight, we’re going to have a candid discussion about a topic that’s been on my heart lately: Beating the Bantha.”
(Several teens exchange confused glances, while others suppress giggles.)
“Now, I know some of you might be wondering what exactly I mean by “Beating the Bantha.” Well, let me clarify. Beating the Bantha refers to mistreating Mother Jungle’s creatures, whether that’s through neglect, abuse, or cruelty. But it’s also a metaphor for something else, something more personal.”
(Whispers and snickers ripple through the group as they catch on.)
“You see, just as it’s wrong to harm innocent animals, it’s also harmful to ourselves when we engage in certain behaviors. So, let’s explore some of the consequences of “Beating the Bantha…
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- Emotional Scars: When we mistreat animals, we not only hurt them physically but also emotionally. Similarly, when we engage in harmful behaviors like “Beating the Bantha,” we can cause deep emotional wounds that may take time to heal.
- Broken Trust: Animals trust us to care for them and keep them safe. When we betray that trust by “Beating the Bantha,” we damage the bond between us. Likewise, engaging in certain behaviors can erode trust in our relationships with others.
- Legal Consequences: Abusing animals is not only morally wrong but also illegal. Those who get caught while “Beating the Bantha” sometimes get in legal trouble which can have lasting consequences.
- Feelings of Isolation: People who mistreat animals often find themselves isolated from others, as their actions are not condoned by society. Similarly, engaging in “Beating the Bantha” can lead to feelings of guilt and shame, causing us to withdraw from our friends and family.
- Spiritual Consequences: Finally, mistreating Mother Jungle’s creatures goes against Her teachings of respect for life. Those who engage in “Beating the Bantha” may find themselves feeling distant from Her and struggling with their faith. These kinds of harmful behaviors can lead us away from our spiritual path.
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“So, let us remember to treat every creature with care and respect, and to avoid the dangers of “Beating the Bantha” in all its forms. Thank you for listening, and may the Force be With You.”
The teens nod solemnly, some reflecting on the message while others exchange knowing looks. The priest bows his head in prayer, and the meeting comes to a close.
The holo cuts back to the rally, as the jungle priest concludes his speech.
“I know it’s awkward, but it has to be talked about. This is bloodsport, not a valid form of entertainment. We should celebrate each life, not exploit it for amusement or personal gain. Let’s bring back the true essence of our connection with these magnificent creatures.”
“For those of you already hooked on “Beating the Bantha,” I strongly recommend you try another, more ethical source of combat training: droids! The BAF-1000 Assault Droid or the old reliable R0-L0 Tank Droid are particularly well suited for this sort of thing. There’s nothing wrong with a little sparring, but don’t pretend your Bantha likes it!”