Moff Council Calls Press Conference With Diplomats, Announces New Book
The Moff Council of the Pentastar Alignment held a press conference today to release a book for mass publication: “How To Avoid The Sultry Embrace Of Treachery Whilst Still Rising To The Top: A Guide to Remaining Loyal, Valourous and Obedient.” Composed by the Grander Moff Anubis Hothyck himself, you can read the following chapters:
“Glorious Past, Glorious Leader: Rewriting History for Fun and Propaganda”
“Heroics for Show: Winning Medals for Bravery You Never Really Showed”
“Discipline or Disappearance: A Guide to Avoiding the Carbonite Holiday”
“The Ethics of Absolute Power: Why It’s Fine When We Do It”
“Dress for Success: The Power of Impressive Uniforms and Shiny Badges”
“Spotting the Traitor Scum: Paranoia as a Virtue”
“Absolute Loyalty or Bust: How to Love Your Leader More Than Life Itself”
“The Art of Diplomatic Distance: Engaging with Caution”
“Creating Trust, the Grander Moff’s Way: Surveillance and Snitching 101”
“You Wouldn’t Want This to Happen to Your Family, Would You?””
“Opportunistic Genius: Seizing Moments and Medals”
When asked why the text, which has been in circulation within The Pentastar Alignment for some time, was released today, Moff Dane Star said, “…Well, it just seems like now is just the right time to release Moff-Thought to the wider Galaxy. Everyone could use a little loyalty.”
Sio Mai, an expert in fringe religious movements and cults, who often comments on TPA affairs mused that the book release, and the bizarre press conference about it, was likely a veiled comment on the now public “internal misunderstandings” in the Galactic Empire. “Totalitarian organisations like The Pentastar Alignment use most of their resources inwardly, and certainly wouldn’t want to encourage dissent by condoning treachery…”
Indeed, recent speculation has been made in diplomatic circles about whether the recent flight from the Galactic Empire of Hatori Hoorl to establish his own shard of imperialism will reflect on other factions that embrace elements of Imperial Culture, such as The Pentastar Alignment. “The Pentastar Alignment has a consistent policy of vague strategic neutrality in many issues of Galactic Politics; I doubt highly the Moff Council wants anything to do with current events and would prefer to devote their efforts to maintaining their hilariously fragile internal economy on their absolutely minimal income,” Sio Mai continued.
When approached for further comment on Galactic events, Grander Moff Anubis Hothyck said, “We’ll only defeat the scourge of treachery if we all do our part. I don’t know why people think simply having Moffs is a basis for anything. Moffs are awful. Don’t you know? I’m constantly having to get rid of mine.”
Extracts from the text can be found below:
Chapter 1 – Glorious Past, Glorious Leader: Rewriting History for Fun and Propaganda:
In the art of leadership, one must not underestimate the power of a well-polished past. History, as we know, is written by the victors, but why stop with the victorious? Take my life, for instance. Officially, my birth was heralded by a double rainbow and a new star in the sky. And that’s true.
And that’s what matters.
Chapter 5 – Dress for Success: The Power of Impressive Uniforms and Shiny Badges:
Picture this: you’re walking down the corridor, your boots echoing with the sound of undeniable power, your cape – yes, a cape is essential – billowing dramatically behind you. The uniform? Crisp and imposing, the colour is a shade of authority: pure white or black. Each badge and medal on your chest isn’t just a decoration; it’s advertising your greatness. Never mind if they’re for achievements like ‘Supreme Champion of the Meleenium Maze.’ What matters is the brilliance and the sheer number of them. Nobody looks up close, anyway. This is one way you can succeed without betraying your beloved supreme leader.
Chapter 12 – Opportunistic Genius: Seizing Moments and Medals:
The Opportunistic Genius does not wait for opportunities to rise the ranks of the administration; they create them, or at least create the illusion of doing so. With a blend of strategic positioning, ambiguous language, idea hijacking, and blame dodging, you can elevate yourself to a position of respect and admiration. Remember, in the race for recognition, it’s not about what you do; it’s about what others think you’ve done.